Traffic and Joy
by Melody Mayes
Shermaggedon. That one word can create so many emotions. Prior to that traffic event several years ago, I had no idea one word could cause so much drama in my daily life. Once bridge construction was complete, life returned to a semi-normal routine with occasional road delays and traffic jams. Fast forward a few years to the present day and the addition of a new bridge and the three years of construction that has come along with it.
The daily anxiety returned. Commutes that once took 15 minutes started taking 45. I did what any good yogi would do. I left earlier for work; didn’t help. I came in later; also didn’t help. I meditated at lunch which while it did help it was immediately negated once I was stuck in traffic on my way home. I began leaving for work early and not returning until time for bed. Even still I would leave 502PY to head home and would immediately hit standstill traffic. My body became disconnected with my home. And most sad of all my Puggle, Eddie, took up residence with my boyfriend in Middletown.
I would love to tell you this blog ends with a pearl of wisdom on gaining zen when in difficult life situations. Alas, it does not which is what made it so difficult to write. Truthfully I was at a loss of what could help my daily anxiety, frustration and downright anger towards my daily commute. However, I did realize a few things from this painful process.
- My commute simply put was making me miserable. I loved my job and my co-workers, but it had become difficult to enjoy. Through inquiry from within I made a very difficult choice to seek employment elsewhere. With that search I applied for positions I would have thought out of my realm. They seemed out of reach for this girl that had not yet broken into Corporate America because nonprofit world was too comfortable. The search and growth was not easy. Routinely I planned and canceled interviews out of fear.
- I found courage from my yoga community that I am worthy of a job I want and I am capable of anything (including that tripod headstand I’m working on).
- I obtained a position once thought out of my reach. The commute? It is as long as it takes me to get from my bedroom to my home office. My puppy, Eddie? He has moved back home and we are both pretty thrilled.
The process of looking within regardless of how painful it can be in the moment saved me from further frustration. Faith in myself got me to the position.
The only feel good advice I could give is if you are struggling with hard decisions try on asking some internal questions, have faith in yourself because only you know what is best for you, and if you are failing to find faith in yourself lean on those around you that do believe in your awesomeness!